From the moment of conception to the end of life…

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About Helouise Steenkamp

I'm a 45 plus, Devoted Wife and Mother. Adonai has blessed us with two Amazingly Wonderful Sons. We have had the privilege of being Place of Safety parents for 1 1/2 years and there after foster parents to a Darling Princess for 5 years. She was reconciled with her biological parents in Dec'14. Our hearts are still aching from the loss, but we know that as we trust Adonai with our salvation, so we can trust Him with her future. We welcomed our new 4 year old foster child on 05JUN'15.
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5 Responses to From the moment of conception to the end of life…

  1. Clive Lang says:

    Sorry Helouise, the link above for the booklet isn’t working. Do you have the booklet perhaps and could maybe e-mail it to me?

    • Not a problem, I will e-mail it to you. From: Foster Care in South AfricaSent: Tuesday 10 March 2015 18:52To: helouiseS@gmail.comReply To: comment+rd8qzuo28i-9lqwaed1f2m2d_z@comment.wordpress.comSubject: [Foster Care in South Africa] Comment: “From the moment of conception to the end of life…”

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  2. Clive Lang says:

    Thanks Helouise. Although not what we wanted to hear, we were expecting your answer, but we really appreciate you taking the time to reply and give us support.
    We wish you and your family well too.
    Until next time….

  3. Clive Lang says:

    Hi Helouise, I have posted a comment before looking for advice and I do so now again. I’m sure you will remember me. My family and I are fostering a little 3 year old girl through Jewish Social Services. We love her to bits. However there is still a mother (that she was removed from), her father has passed and there is a maternal grandmother. As mentioned in my previous post we were struggling with the Jewish Social Services. Well that hasn’t really changed, but we are also unhappy and frustrated right now with the biological mother and her family to the point that my wife is about ready to be hospitalized. We have decided to push for adoption. Please can you give us some advice on what our chances are and anything you feel that is pertinent. We will also need a lawyer. Is there one that assists people in these situations that you recommend or at least know of?
    The little girl was removed 18 months ago from her family and has been with us for a year. The social services are working towards re-unification. Can we push for adoption or do we have to wait for a certain amount of time to pass? Do have to wait to see if re-unification fails?
    Any assistance you can give us will be invaluable.
    Many thanks.
    Clive

    • Good evening Clive. Unfortunately I can’t give you the news you are hoping for.  You may not want to hear my advice at the end of this post, but I can’t give you false hope, neither leave you so discourage that you are no longer willing to follow the process end out, for her sake.1. The law regarding adoption from foster care, specifies that a a period of two (2) years ‎of Court appointed foster care, has to have lapsed before foster parents can even consider adopting their foster child (this period excludes the time the child was in your care, as place of safety.2. If the biological parent/s visit frequently and consistently with their child, chances are very slim that any children’s court ‎will approve the adoption, regardless if two years have passed or not.3. Our foster child, who was in our care for 5 years, was re-unified with her parents in December, and because of ‎no.2 mentioned above, our hands were tied. Under the new children’s act the biological parents actually have more rights to maintain a family unit, than before. In the children’s court, the term – In the best intrest of the child – actually translates to – in the best intrest of maintaining the family unit.4. You can try to get a lawyer or attorney to take on your case, but because of, no.1 mentioned above, their hands will also be tied.‎5. Foster care is the temporary care of in-need children, until such a time as they can be re-united with their biological parents or family. On becoming foster parents, we therefore commit ourselves to, in conjunction with the foster institution we foster through, aid re-unification and follow their recomendations to atain the afore mentioned.My heart aches with you… it is the single most difficult thing I have EVER had to go through in my life. One thing, besides Hashem, that has strengthen and helped us through the very painful process was focus on the family’s free booklet called – Love and Loss in Foster Care @ http://media.focusonthefamily.com/pastoral/Orphan_Care_Loving_Losing_Booklet.pdf.   Please download it and read it.Just as biological children are only borrowed to us for a period that Hashem has ordained, even before the formation of the earth; so are foster children only borrowed to us. Biological children can also be taken from us at any moment.‎ He is in control of our lives and theirs – just as we trust in Him to provide for our eternal salvation, so we trust Him with these most precious children. His heart and compassion lies in forgiveness and reconsiliation. May He give you stengh, courage and grace to be there for her during this time of transition and stress. We foster to be there for children – and ultimately we must keep our focus on making every situatin they are faced with, easier for them.Kind regards and my heartfelt , sincere empathy.  From: Foster Care in South AfricaSent: Monday 9 March 2015 21:26To: helouiseS@gmail.comReply To: comment+rd8qzuo28i-9lqwaet797nfstt@comment.wordpress.comSubject: [Foster Care in South Africa] Comment: “From the moment of conception to the end of life…”

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