The Top 10 Non-Negotiables in Foster Care

For us as foster parents, to allow a foster child the utmost opportunity to prosper and heal, there exists (what I like to call) “The Top 10 Non-negotiables in Foster Care”:

  1. Always be bigger (grown up), stronger (emotionally), wiser and kinder than the child.  This statement means that you must be the adult in the relationship, not the child = SELF CONTROL.
  2. Provide security for the child. Providing a set daily routine; Informing the child of what to expect (incl. changes to their routine); having a Positive Marriage Relationship with your spouse;  and when necessary Taking Control (loving and appropriate discipline, in a controlled environment).
  3. Loving the child.  Unconditional Love = Time = Playing = Positive physical contact.
  4. Giving acknowledgement.  Verbal praise.
  5. Ascribing age appropriate tasks and responsibilities.
  6. Providing the child with new positive experiences. Such as going to the Zoo, going for a picnic, baking cup-cakes, washing the car with you, etc.
  7. Taking the child for therapy to establish attachment; and to help them heal from their past trauma.
  8. Finding a way to channel your own frustration, so that it doesn’t spill over at home.  I strongly recommend PRAYER!  Prayer will not only melt your frustrations away and give you new insight, but will also allow the LORD to provide you with crucial wisdom and guidance.
  9. Maintaining regular contact with other foster parents.
  10. Taking it step-by-step, hour-by-hour, and day-after-day. 

About Helouise Steenkamp

I'm a 45 plus, Devoted Wife and Mother. Adonai has blessed us with two Amazingly Wonderful Sons. We have had the privilege of being Place of Safety parents for 1 1/2 years and there after foster parents to a Darling Princess for 5 years. She was reconciled with her biological parents in Dec'14. Our hearts are still aching from the loss, but we know that as we trust Adonai with our salvation, so we can trust Him with her future. We welcomed our new 4 year old foster child on 05JUN'15.
This entry was posted in Creating Lasting Memories, DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT, Foster Care Advice, Foster Parent Encouragement, Helping to bring Healing, Knitting Your Family, Parenting with Love, Words of Advice. Bookmark the permalink.

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