Early Days

“My ‘challenging child’ is a challenged child, emotionally damaged by people…” ~ from ‘Chosen Child’.

One of the challenges of parenting an ‘older’ child is identifying and addressing the ‘survival’ habits/behavior adopted by the child in response to his/her early life of adversity, neglect, and often abuse. This is an ongoing process, and especially challenging in the ‘early days’ of fostering. Be encourage … it does get better over time!  For the Christian parent, this means we must continually focus our attention on instruction, and the loving correction of ‘heart’ issues.


About Helouise Steenkamp

I'm a 45 plus, Devoted Wife and Mother. Adonai has blessed us with two Amazingly Wonderful Sons. We have had the privilege of being Place of Safety parents for 1 1/2 years and there after foster parents to a Darling Princess for 5 years. She was reconciled with her biological parents in Dec'14. Our hearts are still aching from the loss, but we know that as we trust Adonai with our salvation, so we can trust Him with her future. We welcomed our new 4 year old foster child on 05JUN'15.
This entry was posted in Behavioral Issues, DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT, Foster Care Advice, Helping to bring Healing, Parenting with Love, Place of Safety Advice, Trauma: The Impact on Children and How to Help them, Words of Advice. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Early Days

  1. Marlene Fourie says:

    Good afternoon Helouise, Hubby and I decided that December 2014 we would be holiday parents and approached NG Welsyn in Meyerton. We received our “Engel Kind” for the holidays. This is been the most positive and meaningfull relationship that we feel we need to share. The people referred us to an home for abused children, and very quickly we got checked and approved. We now have a little girl of 11 that spent the holiday period with us, and as I say, she is our “engel Kind”. Due to bad abuse and rape she has her little problems, and I do say little. We do not approach any problems as a problem, merely as well, now we clean and move on. She has fears and terrible nightmares, and what we find is that the history and the help from the social worker is not much in terms of knowing what she truly did experience. They have a confidential rule, meaning the poor child comes to us, but we know hardly anything about her. The sleeping was the first problem, she walks, talks and even screams at night. (not brought under our attention). We have sorted this out, as we allow her to sleep on a mattress in our room, and I feel this is not really positive for her, but as we grow and get to know one another, hopefully this will get sorted out. When she jumps up, screams or etc, I can just jump off the bed and hold her.
    At the home, she sleeps in a room with 6 other children.
    As this is our first concern, let me leave it here, and await some advise.


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